Friday, March 19, 2010

A little Friday humor for you all :)

Since I haven't had a chance to paint this week I thought I'd offer you a little something to make you giggle ;)

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on Her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring

And preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like Most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the Following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our Store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both Of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, Are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off At 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an Official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'.

This cause The employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from Her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,

causing Management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a Carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the Children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would

bring pillows and Blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him He began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a Mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants Were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously While loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people Browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he Assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, Waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in Here.'

One of the clerks passed out.


I WAS able to attend 2 Zumba classes and spend a night babysitting my grandkids though, so the week was not a total loss! haha I WILL PAINT THIS WEEKEND! I must!

18 comments:

CMZ Art/ Rustic Goth said...

Oh my gosh...this was just hilarious!! LOL!!

Lisa said...

I laughed OUT LOUD! Too funny! Thank you. Glad you got to do your classes and see your grandchildren. Paint, lady, paint! :)

CARMELINA LOUNSBURY said...

I'm rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes...this was 2 cute...

"oh no there's those voices again! yikes".....

thanks for the truest chuckle all day yet!
ciao bella...
carmelina

Colleen - the AmAzINg Mrs. B said...

I just read this to my entire department! You have made our boring, l-oooo-n-g Friday afternoon a whole lot better :-)

Marie S said...

OMGoodness this is one of the funniest jokes I have read in ages. Thank you!!!

It is a good feeling isn't it Darla? I did not say that I do not love having some one else love the pieces I love.;-D
My initial impression is just sutble. I remember saying in my head "this is cool!" and "I might keep this one".
Thank you Darla, takes one to know one!
Have a great weekend.
Love and hugs.

Marie S said...

TakeS one to know one applies to the "You are SO good Comment"

Vicki said...

hahaha....I can see a man doing that too! Funny stuff...
Been a slug on catching up, so I'll go do that now. Have a great weekend!

Jennifer said...

That is SO funny!!:) Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

~Jennifer

Stephanie Mealor Corder said...

What a GREAT post, thanks for the laugh!

Julie-ann Bowden said...

Loves the part, hiding in the clothes rack and saying pick me, pick me! Sounds just like something we would do here as teenagers. But not all in the same shop, lol!

Hope you're having a great weekend!

Hugs!

Julie

sanda reynolds Mullingar,Ireland said...

I really laught with tears!LOLOL SOO FUNNY! Thanks so much Darla!
Have a wonderful Sunday,
Lots of love, Sanda xx

Breezy said...

Hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing.

Diana Evans said...

hahahahaha...this is a riot Darla!!!

thanks for the Monday morning laugh!!!!

Sandra Evertson said...

Too funny!
Sandra Evertson

Cottage Cozy said...

I am having a "Blue Monday" Giveaway...come by and take a peek.

Have a terrific week!

Stay Cozy, Carrie

Serena said...

Too funny!!! Thanks for the laugh, Darla ~ :)

Giovanna ♥ said...

HILARIOUS!! Thanks for sharing :D
xxx
Giovanna
www.bohomarket.blogspot.com

patk860 said...

i more than giggled... i rolled on the floor with laughter.... my hubby is guilty of a few of these too! what is it about men & shopping!!!!