Monday, July 25, 2011

Assignment #2 in Wyanne's Paint Free class

This was ANOTHER challenge for me! We were to take 4 colors and also black and white and put them out on our palette, set the timer for 30 minutes and paint. Just paint, no preplanned ideas...just paint.

The timer thing had me almost frantic and I was painting like a wild banshee :) I realized that I was pretty much done or at least nothing more I could 'think' of to do and I had 10 minutes left. I decided to then start outlining things in black to fill my time up.

I did this during a week when we had temperatures in the 90's, T-storm warnings daily and unbelievable humidity and even though I didn't paint anything in particular, for some reason I see lots of the week's flavor in this painting. I see summer flowers......I see twisters, funnels and lightning bolts :) Weird, huh?

Hope you all have a great week! My next assignment in the class is to paint something special from my childhood memories. I think I'm going to try paint my great grandmother's porch swing♥

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm taking a class!

And this is my first exercise.......coloring :)

I have to admit, it was fun to try this, but I realized I didn't enjoy it much. Maybe if I had followed the directions and actually used COLOR CRAYONS instead of what I had at hand (Crayola markers) I would have liked it better? I LOVED coloring as a child! Nothing made me more giddy than a new box of shiney, sharp 64 fabulous crayola crayons! Anyway...I found the busy design and all the blank spaces that needed color a bit challenging and exhausting. I guess that part I already knew about myself: I like to paint as I go and let the design come to me rather than sketching out a design or tracing a pattern and having to have everything just right.

I'm hoping this class, taught by Wyanne and found here will be just what I need to ignite a new kind of creativity inside of me. I've normally taken seminars and online classes to learn to paint 'just like' someone else and learn their style. Of course, the goal is to take what you learn at those classes and develop your own style, but for some reason my work always looked way too similar as did others' and we could all tell that we'd shared the same experience. That's ok too....but I'm really hoping this class will help me find something deeper inside that I haven't been able to quite set free just yet. Does that sound corny? OH well.....I'm corny sometimes! haha

Come join me! It's an E-book available NOW or you can wait until August 22 and take it as a group if you like!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Thank you!

This is the first time I've felt like painting in over 4 months and it felt good to try again.
The quote around her head reads: 'And when you thought you were alone...I was always there with you'

The bird showed up in the background painting stage so I went with it :) Thanks for all the wonderful greetings and support on yesterday's post! I've missed you!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Hello...remember me?

I want to thank you ALL for your wonderful concern and support over the past 4-5 months. I miss you all and am finally at a place now where I feel I am returning to my old self.

After 11 years of employment for a company, I was 'let go' on Feb. 16th. I was told I did nothing wrong and that they were just 'making changes'.
If you'll look back at some of my art journaling pages prior to this event, you'll see sadness, worry and frustration in a lot of my projects. I knew I had big life changes coming my way, I just thought I'd be able to have more control over them. The last 8 months of employment were very difficult for me. Someone new and related to management was brought on board and slowly my duties started going to that person. I was left in the dark and not included in any of the discussions, decisions or day to day events as I had always been in the past. I felt invisible and I knew it was someone's way of making me 'want' to quit and move on. I think one of the biggest 'hints' I received was before Christmas when it was bonus time. I cut the bonus checks and my boss deliberatey gave me less than the others, when in the past I was one of the highest. I started looking because nobody wants to stay where they're no longer wanted. I guess I didn't find something quick enough for him.

I have never, NEVER been relieved of my duties at any job so it was a soul crushing, humiliating and hurtful experience. In fact, during my 11 years there I was contacted 3 different times to go to work for someone else but I remained loyal....I liked where I was. The last year was different. VERY different and I was praying for one of those calls :)

I spent 3 months on unemployment applying for jobs, getting some interviews and getting ignored as well. It's hard to start over at my age, but I found myself in exactly that position. I had 4 weeks severence pay and 4 weeks vacation pay to help but it was dwindling away fast as I had to suddenly pay my own health insurance ($425/mo) on top of my other financial responsibilities.

I finally landed a job about 40 miles away and the job itself was interesting, but I felt alone working in a new city, with new people I didn't know and away from family and friends and I also had to count on my little granddaughter to help put Mieko out once a day. I was up at 5 and on the road a little after 6 am every day. I did not want to commute, especially during the winter months and NOT with the price of gas right now. I worked hard to get my home ready to sell. Weeks and weeks of sprucing up, fixing things I should have done earlier and was about 2 days away from listing it and I got a phone call from a business locally and was offered a job right here, back in town :)

I am so relieved! I've been at my new position 2 weeks now and I think it's going to be great! The offices are nice with a clean environment (no bugs or mice like the last!), the people are wonderful and friendly and I'm going to give it my best!

I know this is long and most of you may have not made it to this part yet, ha! Anyway, one of the things that I learned during this whole process is that I let someone zap my spirit and I will NEVER do that again. I didn't want to exercise anymore. I didn't want to go out with friends. I didn't even paint. WHAT? How can anyone take that away from me? I never would have thought it possible, but I let it happen. I had 3 months to paint all day if I wanted, something I thought would have seemed like heaven, but it was, in fact, hell. I had NO desire. I felt worthless in every way possible and I turned to watching Lifetime movies and comfort food. 10 lbs later....I wish I had done things differently ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and update you. I'm sorry it took me so long. I was scared to post much of anything publically on the internet until I had let most of the bitterness go. I have. I'm still hurt and angry but I know in time it will pass. I just signed up for an E-book painting class to see if I can get some creative juices flowing again :)

Thanks again for being there for me and I hope to be able to share again and visit your blogs again regularly and get my life back to where it was♥

Blessings to you!